BECOME AN ADVOCATEYou don’t need to do the work to help carry it.
Many people in helping roles have never found the words to explain what their work is like, even to the people who love them.
This page offers a gentle look at what goes unseen, and simple ways you can help.
STEP 1 - NOTICE
What you see, and what might be behind it.
An investigator who doesn't talk about work.
What's underneathAn investigator who doesn't talk about work.
Hours spent reviewing things most people never have to know about. Their quiet is also protecting you.
A social worker who changes the subject.
What's underneathA social worker who changes the subject.
Much of what they review can't be shared. Even if it could, they may not want to relive it.
A school counselor who's "just tired".
What's underneathA school counselor who's "just tired"..
Their problems, and those of the kids they support, don't end at the school bell.
A lawyer who seems far away on weekends.
What's underneathA lawyer who seems far away on weekends.
They're responsible for someone's freedom, safety, or justice. It's makes sense that their brain is working overtime to get it right.
A dispatcher who seems quiet at dinner.
What's underneathA dispatcher who seems quiet at dinner.
They regularly hear the start of in incident but rarely the conclusion. They might still be wondering what happened.
A journalist who goes quiet during a story.
What's underneathA journalist who goes quiet during a story.
They may have learned or understood something new, something that makes the grapple with the world or humanity.
A paramedic who jokes about everything.
What's underneathA paramedic who jokes about everything.
Humor, even when dark, helps balance the weight. Laughing along helps, and so does staying when the jokes stop.
A nurse finishing a shift.
What's underneathA nurse finishing a shift.
They may have made a dozen decisions that really mattered, with no time to set them down on the way home.
STEP 2 - UNDERSTAND
This is about exposure.
We hand out helmets for falling objects. But repeated contact with pain, crisis, and impossible choices is a hazard too, just one you can’t see. It builds slowly, and it usually shows up as tiredness, distance, or a short fuse.
The people in your life aren’t failing to cope. They’re doing work that needs more protection than most workplaces give. You can be a part of that protection, at home and out loud. Read the free 101 if you want the longer version.
STEP 3 - SHOW UP
Words that help, and a few to skip.
Try:
“You don’t have to tell me details. How are you doing?
“Want to talk about it, or want to not talk about it?”
I’m grabbing takeout tomorrow. What can I drop-off?”
“That sounds like a lot to carry.”
Skip:
“I could never do what you do.”
“What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?”
“Just don’t take it home with you.
“At least you get to help people”